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Hot Articles on Cougar Singles ________________________________________________
Cougar Singles - Older Women, Younger Men Relationships
What is a cougar single? Who are they, and what is a "cougar" anyway? Ever since the term "Cougar " came in to existence it seems as if the dating community has bred off a new kind of relationship. Cougar singles and relationships have been exploding in popularity and have become quite the romantic modern conversation. The term cougar singles has been growling up a scene and growing in popularity ever since Ashton and Demi said the " I do's" in a discrete wedding in Beverly Hills. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have become the poster couple for the cougar subject and much of the reason it became such a popular subject. Demi Moore (47) and Ashton Kutcher (31) have been married since 2005 and have been reportedly happy since. They have come to signify what it means to be in a cougar relationship and what it means to be a 'cougar couple' in a 'cougar relationship.' Typically 'cougar relationships' are older women who enjoy the company of younger men and visa verse. Although, some might say that it isn't just about age - it's an attitude and perspective. It means being true in the spirit, wise in the mind, and young in the body. Most cougar couples that you come across will say that chemistry, friendship, and communication are the common traits that they have in common. In the traditional sense of the word however, the male is younger, confident, intellectual, and passionate. Usually he is young in spirit, mind, body, wisdom and information about current events and the world. The younger guy is sometimes referred to as a "cub", but if you ask most real cougar guys they usually don't appreciate the term as much. The 'real cougar women' will tell you that confidence, passion, communication, friendship, independence, intellectual capacities, and having a zest for life are the qualities of a real cougar woman. Typically they are women who know what they want and have a quest to find someone who can appreciate real friendship and openness. They usually are attracted to younger to ( not always ) men who are more ambitious, healthy, insightful, understanding, intellectual, and modernized. The cougar singles and older women / younger men topic has been getting quite a buzz and is projected to gain in popularity in the next couple of years. What once was though of as a quirky fad has really started to become somewhat of a cultural phenomenon. As the cougar subject and cougar singles pop up in popularity it will be interesting to see how its sub-cultured origins and catch phrase will evolve.
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Dating Success For Single Boomer Women,
Should I Consider Cougar Dating? - Dating Benjamin Braddock
You know, frankly, Mrs. Robinson had a lot going for her. First of all, she was played by slinky Hollywood actress and Oscar Winner, Anne Bancroft. And who doesn't love that marvelous leopard print bra and slip ensemble she wore for her trysts with Benjamin Braddock, played by actor, Dustin Hoffman? All this before Victoria ever had her Secret in just about every woman's lingerie drawer. As a Baby Boomer Dating expert, one of the complaints I commonly hear from single boomer women is about how few single men their own age there are. Certainly, it is a sad fact that as we ladies age, more men are already married or have died. Some are themselves, divorced. Seems like Slim Pickings when it comes to attractive and available men around your own age. Well, what is a lady over 40, over 50, and over 60 years old supposed to do? When you only focus on men within 5 years of your age range, it can feel really frustrating and limiting. But wait! We are modern women now, are we not? Of course we are. This is the 21st century. So who is to say we can only date, marry, pair up and be happy with a man within 5 years of our age? Absolutely no one! Let's learn a dating and relationship success truth from Hollywood's example. Mrs. Robinson. Susan Sarandon. Demi Moore. All of these glamorous award winning ladies are happy paired up with younger men. Younger men who clearly pursued them. This is called Cougar Dating. No longer is the term "Cougar" used to describe an older women who are dressed in some tacky and overly desperate manner on the prowl looking to devour younger men at the singles bars. In fact, older women and younger men relationships have been fashionable for years. The truth of the matter is that many single younger men are the ones who first pursue older women. The younger men are looking for women who are more confident, socially poised, and have more relationship maturity than the 20 somethings they had previously been dating. In short, these younger men, themselves often in their late 20s and early 30s, are looking for a relationship. No longer are they wanting just to date or to have a girlfriend. They are typically looking to settle down and get married. While many people initially think, "Oh they just want one thing...." However, when you look around you, indeed you will find a number of examples of young men who are looking for a marriage relationship and want a mature woman for their life partner. No longer is the example of a woman dating a younger man socially taboo. In fact, Cougar Dating has become mainstream and is now featured on multiple TV shows, including popular reality TV. Take a page out of Hollywood TV and movies and expand the age range you will consider in your search for love. Your Mr. Right might just be a younger man in the guise of Benjamin Braddock!
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How Do I Hook Up With a Hot Cougar Mom -
Beginner's Guide to Cougar Dating
More and more women in their thirties, forties and even fifties are ignoring the age difference and looking for a date younger than themselves - they are called cougars and are not shy about asserting themselves and going after younger men. Of course, if you're new to the cougar dating scene you are probably wondering where are all those cougar singles everyone is talking about. You know that there are older women looking for younger men somewhere out there, but you just cannot find them. But don't worry, there is a cougar mom looking for someone like you right now, and we will show you how to find her. It is a lot easier than you think - ever heard of this little thing called online dating? You don't have to be social butterfly who is impeccably dressed and knows perfectly how to pickup women - you can do it all online. There are specialized websites where hot cougar moms are looking for younger men (often called "cubs"). What you need to do is find the right site, signup and make yourself known to the community. Older women have a lot to offer, and you can just imagine the level of experience they can bring to the bedroom. Dating an older woman is a must for all young men as they will teach you a few lessons that you won't hear in school. Of course you can also do it the old fashioned way. Cougar Moms are predatory by nature, and they will visit places where young men go. Try football clubs, dance bars and the like. Be prepared for some competition.
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Looking For a Hot Cougar Mom? Here's How to Find a
Hot Cougar Mom
Do you want to find and date a hot cougar mom? I know it can be a bit confusing at first, like where are you supposed to find these cougars and how do you get them to go out on a date with you. Fortunately, it is a lot easier than you think. You don't have to go out cruising bars and approaching lots of women that might look like they are interested in young guys - you can do everything from the comfort of your own home. You see, there's this little thing called online dating and even more, there are specialized websites for cougar dating. These sites specialize in bringing together young men and older women and most of these sites are free to join, although if you get really hooked you can upgrade to full membership. If you are interested, you can easily join a cougar dating site, check out the women there and create a free profile so that hot cougar moms know you're out there and can find you. Tip - put a few pictures of yourself since one picture is worth a thousand words, especially in online dating world. Of course you can also do it the old fashioned way. Cougar moms are predator types, they will go where young men can be found so you too can go there - football clubs, dance clubs and the like. Before you go out on a hunt for cougar moms, make sure that you look your best - wear smart clothes, either a suite or something casual depending on the kind of place you will be visiting. Arm yourself with confidence and forget about fear of rejection. Wear a nice and expensive cologne, go to right places and it won't be long before a hot cougar mom approaches you.
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Want to Be Seduced by a Cougar? How to Get
Them to Approach You First!
By Ted Ballard
There are a lot of men out there who want to get seduced by cougar women. Do you know what a cougar is? It is a woman who is older who is looking to meet guys, and they are pretty forward about it. Getting seduced by cougar women is something that is appealing to a lot of men, because these ladies tend to not play the games that their younger counterparts do. They are much more straightforward, because they know what they want, and this can be very refreshing. So what is the best way to get seduced by cougar women? Well, I think the best way is to get them to come up to you first. Now, there are some dating gurus out there who will tell you that women will not approach a man under just about any circumstance (even cougars) but this is just not true! I know for a fact that it will happen because it has happened to me many times, and my friends as well. In fact, it happens to us on a regular basis. Imagine how powerful that you would feel if you were able to get cougars to approach you left and right. So what is the best way to get seduced by cougar women by getting them to approach you first? (Or women of any type of age, for that matter) Well, you should stand out in some way. You need to have outstanding body language, and act in a way that will literally FORCE women to approach you.
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Cougar Dating - Beware of the
Downside!
If you're 40ish, 50ish or into your 60s and desire hot, heavy, sex with young hunks for decadent pleasures with no strings attached and little chance of a future, then cougar dating IS for you. At this stage of your life, however, if you're looking for a solid relationship, love, and possibly marriage to take you into your golden years, then cougar dating IS NOT for you. It all depends on what you want for the second half of your life. Do you value the premise that YOU are the Prize? That you are unique and that you have something to offer to a man that no other woman on the face of the earth has to offer - your intellect, wit and humor, your unique outlook on life, your love and emotional support and a special chemistry connection that only you can fuel. Do you want to give all that away for a fling? But that's exactly what you're doing when you engage in cougar dating. A bigger problem, though, is the emotional toll that takes place. Remember women, no matter how tough we think we are, are emotional creatures. It's in our DNA. Women have a very tough time separating sex from love. Especially if the sex is good, she can find herself emotionally involved, quickly. But that's not the game plan of cougar dating. That young stud is milking the older woman for all he can get, fun and games, baby, and he has separated the sex from love. By his nature, he can do that. With her, not so easily. So when her emotional attachment clicks in, she could find herself getting possessive. Questioning why he hasn't called more often. Asking where he's been after a few days. Getting an attitude when he looks at a younger woman. In an attempt to keep his interest she could start buying presents. Paying car notes. Lending money for a business opportunity or the like. And before you know it, she's totally hooked on this younger man. In a few cases, this can lead to a long-term relationship. But..., Don't count on it! Here are a couple questions to ask yourself: - Do you really want to start another family with him? Not to speak of having little common interests in music, art, movies, or technology. After all, you come from different generations. On the other hand, if you want to find a husband who commits to healthy, romantic love and marriage with you in a lasting relationship, then you MUST NOT entertain cougar dating. Instead you need to find a way to identify the man "ready for marriage" by dating with purpose and direction coupled with a decisive action plan to get to the altar. Practice win-win principles based on the psychological bent of the male mind when he is challenged to "PURSUE". Set yourself as the bait and he'll go all-out to catch you. Pair this challenge with Agape love (love based on principles of what is right and in the best interests of those you love) then you have a persuasive combination that rocks your chances of becoming the wife of a loving husband. This is a much better alternative to cougar dating don't you think?
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How to Spot Cougar
Women
It depends on the cougar but overall here are the 5 ways to tell if she qualifies as being one. 1) Wedding Ring, or I should say a lack of a wedding ring. This should be the first thing you look for but some young guys make this mistake of not looking. If she does not have a wedding ring on her hand do not assume she is single. However, this is the first positive sign to approach her. 2) Fitness is very important to cougar women. They usually have tight bodies with a nice tan, and there skin is well taken care of. Remember, these ladies are used to the finer things in life and have been taking care of themselves. 3) Cosmetic Surgery, a lot of these women have gone under the knife to keep that young look or to enhance special features of there body. If you see a nice rack on a little frame then you more than likely she had a boob job, or if she is 40 and looks 30. 4) Fashion and Sophistication, they are well versed in what is going on in the world and daily events. In addition, these women have an outstanding wardrobe and have a matching purse and shoes for everyday of the week. 5) Makeup and Jewelry, they usually have on plenty of makeup, she does not leave home without it. She will also wear a lot of jewelry because these are status symbols or are special to her as gifts from her kids or friends. Good luck in your quest for the cougar woman and get ready to be spoiled ;)
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What Makes A Cougar?
I was enjoying happy hour with a friend when two well dressed, poor mannered Don Juan's came by our table to mingle. We were good- natured about their interruption. Usually strangers at dinner, or a bar, or on vacation make for good stories on days when we are feeling unattractive. These stories remind us of the days when we have it. It being whatever single attractive men are looking for that we have, but are simply unwilling to share for more than a cocktail. The young men sat with us, ordered martinis and sipped almost femininely. With the scent of their cologne wafting in the air and the clink of thick rings and bracelets hitting their glasses, they raved about their recent trips, ensured us that they would have loved it if we had been in Italy. We smiled at them, and raised our eyebrows at one another. After far too long, they excused themselves to the restrooms. We assumed they would return to pay for their drinks, but after an hour, they still hadn't returned. There was little we could do, so we paid for their drinks and left for the evening. The next day, I was ranting to a co-worker about the diva dorks, as my girlfriend and I had dubbed them, when I blurted in frustration, "What gives someone the nerve to do such a thing?!" My co-worker informed me that these two cads are what many single men refer to as cougar hunters. Perplexed, I asked the question that has sent me on an anti-aging campaign like none other experienced by a thirty- year- old woman. A cougar hunter, if you didn't already know, is a younger man seeking the affections (and probably financial support) of an older (older being defined as thirty something) woman. If these boys were cougar hunters, then their attack made me a cougar. Outraged, I shouted, "What? I just turned thirty!" My co-worker shrugged his shoulders and left me wondering, what makes someone a cougar? Do women turn thirty and suddenly become desperate prey? After a little more investigating, I learned more about cougars. I learned that I can safely say I am not a cougar (thank you very much) and there are some tell tale signs that you are, in fact, a cougar. So, if the term doesn't sit well with you either, read on. Make sure you don't get confused with these catty women, and fend off sweet smelling boys wearing designer labels. You know you're a cougar when: 1. You order a drink for the singer on stage and send it up with a note to meet you after the show. 2. You always walk into a restaurant/bar/room seeking the young single guys. 3. You offer to pay for your beau's vacation/dinner/rent/car payment. 4. You pinch the adorable waiter's butt as he passes by. 5. You ask the bartender to take a shot off of your belly, but when you lift your shirt, the bar sees your waist enhancing pantyhose. 6. You show your breasts at Mardi gras and no one looks, or if they do, they snicker. 7. You ask the valet boy to meet you in your room in an hour flat to "help you with something" 8. You whisper that you are naughty into the ears of a stranger hoping he will ask for demonstrations. 9. Announce that the next person in a bar to buy you a drink gets a trip to the Bahamas. 10. You date someone more than fifteen years your junior (I know, double standards stink... we'll come up with a good name for old men and young girls.... How about gorillas?) 11. You wink at the pool boy/ busboy/ any title ending in "boy" 12. You fantasize about the young boys on the O.C or MTV or the Jonas Brothers and you are over thirty. After the research, I'm not sure how I was mistaken for a cougar. Perhaps it was my newly discovered wrinkle under my right eye. Perhaps it was my high heeled shoes. Perhaps it was my roaming eyes looking for a waiter. I can't be certain, but the mistake was made, and my perspective on aging is considerably less positive today for it. Although, there are worse things a woman could be called, a cougar is certainly not the most positive. I don't want to stifle anyone's sexual preferences (or means of obtaining those preferences) however, I just thought, if this derogatory title was news to me, it might be news to others as well. So, thirty something and over ladies out there; wear eye cream, drink water, and keep your eyes on your dinner mates, lest you be confused with a prowling feline carnivore.
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Where to Find Cougar
Women
Well, let's think about that, where do cougar women hangout? If you were to market a product to these women and you were going to place advertisements to reach this target audience, where would you place these ads? Here are the top spots to find her. Malls, preferably the high end stores (think of the high end anchor store at your local mall.) Each of these stores are teaming with cougar women that shop there. Try to stay focused on the areas of the store where she may be, such as the shoe, handbag, and jewelry sections. Gyms, the more expensive the membership the better it is for her, she wants only the best. She spends allot of time in the gym because she values her appearance and she has to stay in shape if she is going to pick up younger men. She more than likely has a personal trainer that she uses, for sex and to help with her fitness routine. She will probably be working out during the day or at odd hours because most cougars have their own business or make up their own hours at work. Spas and Health Food Stores, eating healthy goes hand in hand with keeping that youthful appearance and glow. Eating healthy, getting facials, having her manicures and pedicures done are high on her list. Check out Whole Foods and Central Market, they are usually teaming with every type of beautiful woman. Museums and Art Gallery, the best time to go is during the day. As mentioned, she will probably run her own business and be able to set her own hours. This allows her to do things she enjoys during the day. They have developed a lifestyle that allows them to do what they want, when they want to do it. Running, do you have a popular jogging or running trail near your house. Well, more than likely, there are cougar women roaming those trails. She will more than likely be training for a marathon or trying to achieve a personal fitness goal, in fact, she can probably outrun you. She usually goes for runs or walks early in the morning or during the day while your at work. So, in answering the question, where to find cougar women, one thing to keep in mind, most cougars have developed a lifestyle that affords them to do what they want, when they want to do it. You will have to get into her environment in order to meet and catch her. Good luck.
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Cougar - What's in a
Name?
I used to hate the term "Cougar" for all the obvious reasons. First, it evoked images of Mrs. Robinson in a girdle and garters, smoke billowing around her alcoholic head as she seduced a vulnerable (but willing) Benjamin. Flash forward to leopard clad women over 40 showing way too much cleavage, voguing in 4 inch stilettos, hanging out at bars, guzzling wine and dragging home young prey. Every time the media interviewed me, I cringed, knowing the obvious questions would be asked: "Isn't this just about sex?" "Isn't this just about money?" I endeavored to explain to them that in my 20 years of research as a human behavior research psychologist and world's foremost authority on cross generational dating and psychosexual imprinting (translation: Cougar and Cub dating) that they had it all wrong. The media is promoting what I coined "The Myth of Stiffler's Mom" as in the film American Pie. Stiffler's mom seduces a young man, yet he is not the 6 pack ab, GQ model type. He is mature for his age, an intelligent. He gets in her head before he gets in her bed. The younger men and the media who think the younger man/older woman relationship is just about sex or money have never been in a relationship with an older woman. If they had, they'd know the truth. The facts are fairly simple, and I say these with a great deal of certainty, as this is a demographic of people I have studied formally for over 20 years. If you are familiar with the bell shaped curve, you can easily see that the bell shaped curve can be applied to just about anything in life. Let's plot out the younger man older woman dynamic on it and see what we find: In the mid section of the curve we have most of the older women. "Older women" can be considered any woman in her 20's and older who date younger men. The majority of these women who fall in the mid section of the curve are ages 40-50. These are Cougars. Women in their 30's are Pumas. Women in their 20's are Kittens. Pumas and Kittens fall outside the center of the bell shaped curve. Let's say they are 1 standard deviation away from the Mean, to the left of the midsection. Women in their 60's and older are Panthers. Let's put them to the right of the middle of the bell shaped curve. There are fewer Kittens, Pumas and Panthers than there are Cougars; but for the sake of argument, they are all "Cougars." What is a Cougar? Many women take offense to this moniker, as did I, based upon reasons I have given above. People actually get angry with me for using the word in my articles and research. Don't shoot the messenger. I did not coin the word and I did not brand it. Blame the media. They are the ones who want to make Cougars look like neurotic, caricaturist, boy crazy, wackadoos. I really had a viceral reaction every time I heard the word mentioned, read it in an article or saw my fingers typing it onto my computer screen. Not any more. Here is what I have realized and here is what I have advocated to the thousands of members of my Cougar dating site: YOU define what a Cougar is for yourself. Do not let the media. your friends, other Cougars, younger men or so called "experts" tell you how to define yourself as a Cougar. There are basic ingredients that do make up the definition: an older woman who dates, mates and/or marries a younger man. That is the basic criteria. You don't have to look like Courteney Cox, have Demi Moore's money, have Madonna's confidence, or Cher's success to be a Cougar. People who say a Cougar is a "sexy, confident, successful, mature woman who knows what she wants" is leaving out the majority of women who consider themselves Cougars but who may not be successful or sexy or confident. In fact, she may be fresh out of a 20 year stale marriage, up to her eyeballs in debt and feeling insecure about those extra 20 pounds but finds that she is attracted to and open to a relationship with a younger man. There are "experts" who will try to tell people that a woman can be a Cougar only if she is over 40. Not true. There are women on my dating site who are in their late 20's who date men 7 to 10 years younger who consider themselves Cougars. Being a Cougar is less about your age, economic status, body type or confidence level than it is about your desire to date a younger man. I really do work hard to set the record straight for the media; but they print the salacious sex and money angle anyway. In my Ph.D. research project "Childhood Psychosexual Imprinting and the Effects it Has on Adult Male and Female Relationships Specific to Younger Men Dating Older Women" I interviewed over a thousand men about their desire to be with an older woman. Each man could give me chapter and verse about a "defining moment" in his life when he became imprinted with a desire to be with an older woman: a school teacher, baby sitter, friend of an older sister, mother's best female friend, actresses on television and films; the list goes on and on. For these men, it was not about the Myth of Stiffler's Mom. It was not a roll in the hay with Mrs. Robinson, it was a powerful imprint that has stayed with them throughout their lives and keeps them going back to older women time and time again. I have interviewed men in their 30's who have been married to older women who are looking for their next older wife. I have interviewed men in their 40's and 50's who refuse to date women their age and younger and opt instead for the more mature woman. I met a man who was 82 years old who told me,"I just married an older woman," and then he added with a wink,"Sex with an older woman is always better." 82! Psychosexual imprinting is an area of expertise of mine as it relates to the younger man/older woman dynamic. The "psycho" part has to do with the psychological aspect of the imprint and the young man's personality and how it is formed and imprinted upon. The "sexual" part is prima fascia obvious. Imprinting is a very powerful, defining moment in a person'a life. We all have imprints, some positive, some not positive. The younger man who has imprinted positively with an older woman will seek out and bond with older women for the rest of his life. It's not a one time, flash in the pan kind of thing. This is what the media does not understand about this dating dynamic. And it is not understood by many so called "Cougar Experts" who are jumping on a bandwagon to sell books and speed dating sessions. My research in this area is extensive, comprehensive and documented; which is why CNN refers to me as The Uber Cougar. So, if you are a Cougar, don't be ashamed by this term. It is not derogatory. It is not a put down. "Wear the paw with pride" as we say on my dating site. Define who you are as a Cougar and dispel the myths that are out there. And feel free to email me with any questions you may have about my research and this dynamic. Ageism is the last barrier we are breaking down in dating. Even if you are not a Cougar at least now you understand a little more about what one truly is...and is not. Happy hunting!
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Cougar Dating
In the singles scene, the terms 'Cougar Dating' and 'Cougar Romance' are becoming more and more common. As society progresses, the idea of older women dating younger men is no longer unheard of or a cause for embarrassment. In fact, women dating younger men is worn as a badge of honor in some circles, much as the idea of a trophy wife or girlfriend has been for older men. We've entered an age where more and more women are choosing the professional route and putting off marriage and family until their career is well established. In so doing, they've pushed their previously acceptable dating pool up in age also. Well, no longer. These go-getters have thrown off the antiquated ideas that women should only find a mate who is her age or older. What woman wants the father of her children to be too old to be an active participant in raising those children? The cougar who desires a family also desires a partner who is young enough and eager to be involved in the raising of that family. With the new 'metro sexual' men come new thoughts on dating. Even the idea of younger men dating older women. No longer are we chained to the model of young women staying home and raising a family while her husband is the bread winner. Younger men are more open to being with a strong, successful older woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Most are not put off by the idea of an older woman being more successful than he is either. In fact, it can be quite exhilarating to give over the traditionally male role in the dating game to an older cougar who desires dating younger men. Yes, these days it can be truthfully said, cougar dating is alive and well in the dating game.
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Cougar Love - Why Shouldn't Women Date
Younger Men?
What's behind the trend of women dating younger men? Perhaps the desire for many women has always been there but society has kept a lid on such social behaviour - until now! As history goes, wild cougars have been roaming the lands of America and Canada for more than 40,000 years. Cougars are fearless predators and are admired for their hunting skills. The cougars symbolic image has been preserved over the years and represents several corporate branding identities such as Puma and The Mercury Cruiser. In today's liberal and free civilization, the cougar represents something much different - older women snapping up young men! When the word cougar is spoken about, modern society instinctively thinks of a male and female hook up lopsided by age. Until recent (general) social acceptance, a woman aged over 35 years was not thought of as a romantic prospect, rather as a faithful sidekick or an undignified man eater. So why has our perception and willingness to accept cougars and cubs hooking up changed? - sexy older celebrity role models! On screen love affairs like "Bridges of Madison County" and real life celebrity romances such as Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher practically revolutionized cougar dating overnight. Besides all the Hollywood hype that opened the door for cougars to be openly dating younger men, romantic connections between different generations can be attributed to many factors. Some older women who are akin to old school traditions regarding relationships also consider themselves to be in tune with today's values and, quite frankly, want a piece of the pie. The cold hard facts remain that mature aged men are well beyond their sexual prime unlike their female counterparts. Many older men are at the stage of their lives where long work hours and 18 holes of golf on their occasional day off plays second fiddle to sex and romance. And besides, 68% of men over the age of 35 in Australia are married or are in a relationship. We could go on and break down the status of the remaining 32% of single men age above 35, but the remaining fraction of available eligible men could be depression news for lonesome ladies. As the man drought seems to be increasing, unattached older ladies are eying off the younger generations of single men. These women think it's very fashionable to amble around town with men's eyes all over them, especially if the attention comes from men under 30. As with anything new and controversial, cougar critics label this group of women as predatory. Critics would argue that women engaging in sexual activities with young consenting men are cheap, and the level of criticism increases depending on the amount of age difference. Some people are staunch in their views that women of middle age should restrain themselves from having sex and seeking companionship whether it be with younger men or older suitors, but we think that age is just another number when it comes to the heart. If you are considering dating older or younger men and women, try online dating. You will soon realise there are whole communities in cyber space full of real people who share your desires.
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Cougar Club - How to Date Or Be a
Cougar
Being in a relationship consisting of an older woman and a younger man is one of the most dating kinds of relationship for both individuals, if you learn how to take advantage of this setup. Dating cougar has undeniably risen in number for the past few years. Whether you are looking to enter a cougar club or looking at the option of dating one, read more below to find out how you can make the most out of it. Dating Cougar Before you embark into dating cougar, you need to consider a few things first. Since this works just like any other form of dating, you have to enter this dating scene with a specific goal in mind. Are you looking for temporary fling or something more serious? By learning to identify your goals, you can narrow down your choices and make choosing a lot easier. And the next important step once you've identified the type of woman to go for, you need to find out how you can please them. Avoid playing hard to get too as you are only wasting both your time. You have to make yourself available whenever she wants to hang out or have fun. At the end of it all, you need to prepared to understand or face the social stigma. Dating cougar is still considered as a taboo in the society, despite it being around for several decades now. You also have to beware of women who are merely looking for a fling, particularly if you are in it for a serious relationship. If you are a younger man looking to date women older than you are, there are literally hundreds of online dating websites out there for you to join in. Most of them offer free membership, which enable you to put up your own profile and share photos with other singles in various parts of the world. You can also check out cougar club, which provides you with more specific choices if you are looking for women of specific age brackets. In addition to these dating sites, you will find lots of other network opportunities online that enable you to connect with cougars. This works like other dating services on the internet wherein you have a wide range of profiles to check out, view basic info about a specific person, and interact with them in the hopes of building a relationship between each other. Becoming a Cougar If you have decided to enter into a cougar club and expand on your current options of men to date, this should serve as an exciting prospect in the life of single women. Below are some excellent tips on how you too can have fun dating younger men: *Look beyond your usual understanding of young men and try to appreciate them individually instead of
looking at them through stereotypical lenses.
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Cougars - Shopping For Love
101
Most of us know what options we want in a car and less about what we want/need in a relationship. We know we want the convertible with the 6 CD changer, heated seats, in Egyptian Gold Sand with the tan leather interior and run flat tires. But when it comes to choosing a mate, many of us have the attitude,"I'll just meet someone and if it happens, it happens." The "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be" attitude is what more often than not gets us into relationship trouble. Basically, it is a way for people to avoid taking responsibility for 1) looking at themselves, 2) working on their shortcomings, 3) remaining in victim mode and staying in a pattern of failed or even abusive relationships. I advocate people do more than make a wish list or vision board. Those can lead to unrealistic expectations that won't get met. Instead, make 3 columns. In column 1, list all the things you'd like to have in a person. Pretend you have a magic wand and can create your perfect man or woman. In column 2, list the things you can compromise on. Take items from column 1, since you know there is no such thing as a "perfect" person and you are going to have to compromise on some things. In column 3, make a list of relationship deal breakers, such as: addiction, abuse, adultery, smoking or whatever you determine would lead to the end of a relationship. Over time, you will notice the items in your columns will fluctuate. As you gain more experience looking for your mate, you may realize that some of your items in column 1 are now in column 2. Maybe some column 2 items shift over to column 3. The important things to remember are: the healthier you are as a person and the better your personal boundaries are, the more likely you will attract the right person to you. If you have deal breakers, then you may need to really think long and hard before you let any of them become things you can compromise on. Many women get into trouble when they let things they would not ordinarily compromise on slide, such as addiction. If you find yourself having to defend or make excuses for your partner's behavior, it is time to seriously reconsider being with that person. Another list you want to make is a list of all your positive attributes. This is what you have to offer or bring to the table in a relationship. Next, make a list of your character flaws, personality quirks, negatives. Doing a personal and honest inventory of yourself may be painful and difficult but do it any way. Ask a close friend to help you with this and ask them to be honest and not say things to protect your feelings. If you do this exercise together, you can help each other make this list. Finally, make a list of 3-5 things you want to work on in yourself and create a realistic strategy for change. Be sure to start with small things that are well defined, have a time limit and have rewards built in along the way. For example: "I want to lose 5 pounds by the holidays." The time limit may be 30 days. That's reasonable. The plan of action is: "I will walk for 30 minutes every night after dinner and cut my calories to 1,200 a day and stop eating dessert." The reward can be: For every pound I lose, I will treat myself to a bubble bath, movie with a friend, pedicure or whatever will motivate you to stay the course. Again, be sure your goal is realistic, easily identifiable, has a time limit, has a plan of action to follow, and there is a reward built in. There is room for improvement in all of us! Now, let's say you did meet that perfect person, would he/she want to be in a relationship with you? If you are a smoker waiting for the right person to come along to inspire you to quit, don't wait. Take steps now to stop smoking. Your smoking may be on someone else's deal breaker list and they will reject you, even if you tell them that you intend to quit. We all have a tendency to "wait" until we meet someone before we lose those extra pounds, stop smoking, get a better job, work on our issues. Instead, take initiative and personal responsibility to prepare yourself to be the person that the person you are dreaming of will want to be with. Then when you do meet that person, their thought will be,"Wow! THIS is the person I have always wanted to find!" Remember, there is a lid for every pot. Happy shopping!
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Cougar Dating in the United States - Will
the Trend Continue?
Older women dating younger men has been nothing the locals bat an eye at in Europe. It's been going on for quite some time. But in a country such as the United States, with still a bit of a puritanical hangover, only the larger cities are hopping on board. I have seen membership grow in the past year on older women/younger men dating sites, I notice that most members are coming from the larger cities faster. Trends seem to start in California and "infect" the rest of the country. Members are from all over the world, so I get a good perspective of what this dating dynamic is like world wide. The U.S. doesn't have any true royalty, so the populous looks to celebrities to model after. Remember when Cher was ridiculed for having such young boyfriends? Now Demi, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, and other mature women date and marry their younger loves. This behavior has in effect, legitimized and given permission to women who are tired of competing for the attentions of men in their age range who are in short supply, have alimony, child support and other issues or baggage that the mature woman who has energy to spare and a sex drive to match and who wants a companion who can keep up with her on more than one level. It's not all about sex. Female members I have interviewed (many of whom date younger and older men) say men their age can't keep up with them, disappoint them in bed, aren't all that to look at any more and have forgotten the fine art of romancing and courting a woman. Some of the women just want a hook up with no expectations, but many women on the sites are looking for a meaningful connection, possibly long term, even marriage. My research also reveals: Women in the South tend to be "closet Cougars" who are still concerned what the boss, co workers and the neighbors will think about their new dating style. Fearful of being public, ridiculed, ostracized or losing friendships or job opportunities, they keep their dating on the down low. The younger men (Cubs) in the South tell me it is very hard to find a southern Cougar. Their laments are endless and fraught with frustration. I can understand this, as I grew up in the deep South where patriarchy reigns supreme and change and new fangled ideas are not readily encouraged. It seems sort of odd as most of the people I grew up around hail from ancestry of Northern Europe; albeit the more puritanical sects. As I get to know this group of men and women, I see they are no different from anyone else. They just prefer the company of someone who is not in their age group. The younger men like that for the most part, older women know who they are and what they want and are not afraid to go after it. They like that these women can talk about topics that younger women seem to be uneducated or inexperienced in and that the drama quotient is less. Women their age, they claim, play too many games and manipulate, whereas the Cougar woman tends to be more of a straight shooter. In terms of the boudoir, the women like that they have a younger man who is eager to learn to please them. They tell me that trying to teach the "older dogs new tricks" doesn't get very far. They tell me it is great to not have to fake orgasms any more because they feel freer to experiment with a younger man and tell him how to please them. Biologically, a woman in her 40's and up is in the peak of her sexuality. The younger men are in the peak of their. Voila. It's a match. But it goes beyond sex for most of the men and women I have gotten to know over the past year. Keep in mind I am in daily contact with my thousands of members on dating sites. I write articles, dole out advice, listen to concerns about being a newbie, support and encourage and even facilitate introductions. Although thousands of miles separate some of us, we have become friends-family if you will. We have a live online chat every Wednesday night and discuss relationships, sex, dating, mating and I am constantly writing articles so that men and women can understand themselves and each other better. The women tell me that now that they have suffered and dodged the slings and arrows of life, gone through a divorce, raised children, been hired, been fired, lost parents and loved ones that they now truly feel they have "earned their stripes" to be who they really are. And who they really are means multidimensional women with passion, perspective and panache who want to break out of the confines of having to always take care of others and take care of themselves. This includes finding romance, passion and fun. A whole lot of fun. People ask me all the time to define what a Cougar is. This I can say with certainty. No one, not the media, not society, not your neighbor or your bff defines a true Cougar. A true Cougar woman defines herself. And Cougar dating isn't a fad. It isn't a flash in the pan. Older women dating younger men has been going on since time began and it's not going away.
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3 Smooth, Suave, and Sophisticated Dating
Tips For Younger Men Wanting to Date Older Cougar Women
Used to be that 20 years ago that for a young man to be interested in an older woman, people thought he must be "hard up." Nowadays, there is still some residual judgment and bias where people think and whisper to each other, "Well, you know, he must be after only one thing." But the truth is one of the hottest current trends in dating is Cougar Dating wherein younger men are pursuing older women. If you're a younger man and you are attracted to the confidence, maturity, and fun of an older woman, here are 3 smooth, suave, and sophisticated dating tips for you to attract, pursue, and date older women. Tip #1. Do Be Smooth: Go Where The Fish Are Where do older women congregate? Are older women really at the same singles bars as the 20 something girls? In some cases, yes, they are. In Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, and Manhattan, you will find the sexy successful business executive women rubbing elbows while downing the Chardonnay, Mojitos, Cosmos, or Margaritas together with the 20 somethings just out of college. And while singles bars are fun, they really can be a mad house. Where else could you try? When you want to stand out and not be one of many other single men in the crowd, go to the gym or YMCA classes that women love and attend en masse. There are always more women in the group classes at the gym because studies demonstrate that women are very tribal and socializers. Take a yoga class. Tip #2. Do Be Suave: Do Move In When You First Meet and Be Low Key Now the thing is, while it is a hot new dating trend for younger men to date older women, frankly, not every 40+ year old is thinking that way. You might need to woo her a little bit about the idea. Be a man and do approach her. She will respect your masculinity for this. However, be a bit more covert. Be low key in your exchange, and her defenses will go down. At the end of the class just warmly strike up conversations with the other women. Be smooth and suave here. Just strike up a conversation. Don't immediately push to get her phone number. Just say at the end, "I've really enjoyed talking with you. I hope to see you next week. I'll definitely be back again." Tip #3. Do Be Sophisticated: Invite Her Out with You at Your Second Meeting At your second conversation, she will be more comfortable with you. That's when you could suggest, "Hey, I haven't had my coffee yet, and gotta get some java. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee around the corner before you head out?" You show your confident sophistication knowing that she is busy. It is also a compliment to her. "You're beautiful. You're successful. You must be busy." By doing that, subtly and smoothly you just let her know it would be brief. That way there is no pressure for too much of anything right away. You're just looking to get to know her a bit better in a romantic way. She will feel more comfortable with you this way which increases your chances of romantic pursuit success your with dating older women.
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